I Forgot About the Perks of a Weekend Away in an Unfamiliar City
The gift of new perspectives and a fresh take on life
My husband and I did something unusual. We went away for the weekend to a city we’d never visited — Montreal. Now Montreal is amazing. It offers rich history, European charm, and restaurants that take their craft and taste very seriously. It is beautiful on so many levels.
But what Montreal gave to me was much more than a visit to an exquisite foreign city. It allowed me to step back, take a deep breath, get out of production mode, and simply relax. It was “peace on earth” in the lightest and most meaningful way.
This weekend, I turned 67, which isn’t “old,” but as we get older, we appreciate each birthday more. We take less for granted. It’s why my husband was uncharacteristically sentimental in suggesting we get away to celebrate my day. It was a first, and while I didn’t need it, I happily accepted the moment.
So what did the weekend give to me? I will share three gifts.
Appreciation of history
For sure, there was an appreciation for the history of Montreal and the many peoples who lived there — Indigenous, French, British — their peace treaties and their breaking of them. There was ingenuity in how they physically created their city. They started as a missionary settlement but morphed into a fur-trading center. Their museum illustrates, step by step, all that was involved, and it was significant.
Being there to witness the sites and their stories versus reading about them in a book or website is so different. I realized that at 67, my love of learning has not diminished one iota and that my attention span is healthy.
Fun fact: Montreal is a city built around a hill called “Mount Royal.” Who designed the hill? None other than Frederick Law Olmsted, the same person who designed New York City’s Central Park.
Leisure is a great salve to replenish the soul
We set no alarm clocks and did not respond to emails. We took long walks and slept late — 7 AM — which merited a big high-five. It was our version of being off the grid because we were off the clock.
We need to do more of this. I didn’t write one word for four days. I thought about the novel I am working on, but that was only because I had some creative energy that I let go where it wanted.
In my last novel, a character I call “Coach” tells the protagonist, “The clock cannot be your master.” I wrote those words and meant them, but this weekend, I lived them. More importantly, I understood them in a far deeper way.
Patience is my new sought-after superpower
This weekend left me coveting a new superpower. Those who know me would say I am thoughtful and intuitive about people. I’ll take that as a virtue and would be proud of it if it’s true.
But at 67, the virtue I seek is to have more patience. On this weekend, we didn’t care how long it took to get served or pay up. We didn’t care that we stood in line for quite a while to go to the archeological museum. We had all the patience in the world.
Of course, it helped that we had no calendar to keep, save when we left for the airport to fly home. But maybe, I thought, I can create moments at home where I am “off the clock.” If I can do that, more patience will likely follow.
And so…my promise to me
What will I take away from these four days in Montreal?
If I am truly going to cultivate more patience, there are a few new “rules” I need to abide by as a sign that I am serious:
No finishing other people’s sentences. Even when I know what they are going to say, I need to give them the pleasure to say it.
Less scheduling back-to-back commitments. Allow more downtime in going from one thing to another— no Mahjong session followed immediately by a client interview. It sounds silly, but it’s real for me.
More leeway to finish writing my novel. My novel is a coming-of-age story about a 40 year-old-woman. Maybe it’s my story, too. Maybe we all have coming-of-age moments that happen later in life.
More patience on the tennis court. I don’t need to rush to win the point, which usually backfires anyway. I can wait it out and return the ball with leisure and smarts. Patience with a little yellow ball can take me to many places in my behavior.
It was an odd combination of factors that enabled my husband and me to spend the weekend in Montreal. Still, since I have a slightly religious soul, I will consider this happening one of “Divine Intervention.”
This weekend was a reminder of the many ways we can give to ourselves and replenish our spirit. It took me back to a saying I learned in elementary school. The quote comes from Rabbi Hillel in Pirkei Avot (Ethics of our Fathers). He says,
אם אין אני לי מי לי If I am not for me, who will be for me.
Rabbi Hillel continues,
“If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?”
Montreal reminded me that “now” is the time to be for me so that I can be for others.
This was my birthday gift to me.