My mother-in-law had a dream.
It’s a dream I heard over and over again.
“We’re going to find a place to vacation for the summer in Michiana. You’re going to all love it!”
First, I didn’t think it would happen. She had a lot of dreams.
Then, when it happened, I was wary, but being the good family member I am, I played along.
Why wasn’t I excited?
Michiana is a small region that includes Lake Michigan. Except for the large lake, there is nothing scenic. It is trailer-park territory with a large discount shopping mall to round out the experience. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the diversity of how people live, but in truth, it didn’t speak to me.
Plus, we would be spending two weeks there.
Two weeks? Who gives up two weeks of vacation for an excessively hot, dry town in Bumblef**ck, Indiana, and is excited about it?
Answer: Minus the part about being excited, I did.
The first year was a bit rough. We didn’t have our habits down yet. Those habits became family tennis, skipping rocks on the water, biking, playing board games, doing puzzles, and going to “Oinks” ice cream shop for fancy flavors that made ice cream a delicacy.
Internet access in the early years was very intermittent, so there wasn’t an easy escape to our computers. We had each other and the activity of choice, which also included relaxing while we watched the U.S. Open.
In the first summer, I was ready to pack up after one week. No dice, though. We had another week to go.
After resistance comes acceptance.
After acceptance comes discovery.
After discovery comes pleasure.
At least, that’s how it went for me.
My husband’s favorite proclamation, he hopes I’ll say, is not the one most spouses clamor for: “I love you.”
Nope, it’s “You were right, and I was wrong.” When I say that, he usually feigns hearing loss and asks me to repeat what I said.
So, he was right, as was his mother, and I was wrong. I told him that…at least twice.
Michiana turned out to be great.
What made me rethink my views of Michiana? It came in stages.
I learned that it takes time and skill to actually relax. I’ve spent my life being a “doing machine” with lists, places to go, and people to see. It turns out there is another way to do life.
Here we were, with balls, racquets, swimsuits, books, crossword puzzles, bikes, and very few people around. We found our rhythm. My husband and I would start our morning early with tennis. We’d come back sweaty and greet our kids. We’d eventually make it to the beach. Later in the day, we might make it to a local farm for peaches or blueberries.
I discovered that not having a to-do list was pure delight.
Then there was the family piece. We created new traditions and rich memories. There’s the 4th of July barbeque while we sat on the deck and watched fireworks over the lake. There was the annual revenge doubles match on the tennis courts each year, where it got harder and then impossible to beat the kids. There was the debate on which new flavor of ice cream we would have at Oinks to top off our evening. There was the grudging acceptance that we’d do discount shopping one afternoon over vacation.
All the while, our computers were mostly silent, and during those days, our cell phones had limited capabilities.
I joined the camp where two weeks were not enough, but in truth, it was all we could afford. We had jobs to get back to. Maybe what made the time special was that it was a break from routine.
We did our Michiana trip for 18 years. In Judaism, 18 is a significant number because the word “chai,” which means life, translates to 18 when its letters' numerical values are added together.
Michiana and “chai” belong in the same sentence. It’s where we were able to see life differently and grow as a family.
Sadly, my mother-in-law has passed, and life marches on with new chapters and new traditions. We’ve even welcomed new members into our family.
But the halcyon days of Michiana will forever remain a strong and formative memory.
Thank you, Roz, the mother-in-law of all mother-in-laws, the woman with a vision who knew better than me what could be.
I assume Michiana got its name because it is situated on the border between Michigan and Indiana (just as Texarkana was named because it is on the border of Texas and Arkansas).