The Ups and Downs of Family Fun Time
Because everything is a “popposite” — even what we love most
I cannot get enough of family. But then, sometimes, I actually can.
It’s what I call a “Popposite,” where opposites create pop, and you appreciate each aspect of a nuanced relationship even more.
Three days before my kids and granddaughter arrived, I was cooking, organizing, and trying to get ahead of my work. Each night, I was more fatigued. It helped that I accepted there was no getting ahead of my work in order to be less behind (another popposite).
When my kids and granddaughter arrived from NY, the parents looked fatigued and couldn’t wait to sleep in. Our needs aligned perfectly. My husband and I, in our sixties, have lost our ability to sleep past 6 AM. We cherish time with our three-year-old granddaughter, where I get to say things like,
“Rachel (not her real name), after you eat the eggie, I will give you a chocolate chip cookie.”
She always looks perplexed when I say this, as if “Something doesn’t sound right here.”
No matter. All is good — egg and cookie consumed. Puzzles are next. Parents are fast asleep.
When parents awake, I assure them that Rachel had an excellent breakfast, and I pass the baton… I mean toddler.
On this particular weekend, I felt like the “old woman who lived in a shoe,” as shoes were everywhere! This included shoes from my newlywed son and wife, my daughter who lives nearby, and my New York clan.
My husband has been asking me for years, “Why do you need so many shoes,” and while I always had an answer, now I was asking the same question. Flip-flops, sneakers, casual shoes for going out, and slippers for lounging littered the floor. Walking on a balance beam would be easier.
This old lady who lived in the shoe was feeling older every day.
Eventually, my gang decided to head to the lake for paddleboarding and swimming. A group of seven headed out with a bundle of towels, snacks, and the ever-so-easy-to-carry paddleboard (can you tell that I’m dripping in sarcasm?).
Even though the lake was crowded, we found a suitable space. Some peeled off for the water. Others, who may have been fatigued by walking the three blocks and carrying a household’s worth of items, went for the snacks.
We were in a mood where “everything worked”…until about an hour later, Rachel, our toddler, was tired and hungry. It occurred to me that much of the fun was actually planning our adventure. The time spent in water play was quite small.
People returned in stages, and suddenly, I was looking at a pile of wet towels, a fatigued family, and a very messy kitchen.
“A dirty house is a healthy house,” I say to myself.
Or is it “A dirty house is a happy house?”
I’ll take either, but then I wonder, “Why can’t ‘healthy’ or ‘happy’ come with clean?”
And then I remembered my mother's wisdom: “The mess will always wait for you.”
I chose to breathe deeply and not clean compulsively. It was my Namaste moment.
My mood was broken when I heard someone call out, “Mom, what are we having for dinner?”
About feeding our families who have diverse tastes, the most important rules are:
Go simple: No one will ever need or appreciate Coq au Vin.
Go fast: Any dish that requires an hour to simmer on the stove while the flavors blend in for maximum enjoyment is a dish not worth making.
Go wide: Range is important. At any meal, I will have pasta and salad as the safety net if the main dishes don’t work.
Respect the importance of dessert: That’s what will be remembered most. If the meal is mediocre but the dessert is a home run, the meal will be remembered as a home run. It’s my best hack for fast, easy meals.
I am always happy at the end if everyone finds something to eat, and I am still standing upright.
What I remember more than the dessert is the laughs. This time, as is often the case, it happened when we played the game CodeNames. The game relies on your knowledge of your partner and your ability to give a one-word clue to help your partner guess your 8 or 9 “words” on a board of 25.
The associations we make based on our knowledge of our partner and the specificity of the one-word clue can be hysterically funny.
My son and his wife are working to develop their game and better understand each other’s thinking. So when my son gave the clue “forest” for “rabbit,” we guffawed and told my daughter-in-law the miss was not on her.
The best news is that while we can be a competitive family, no one cares who wins CodeNames. We were happy that we could still delight in games.
After four days, everyone was ready to return to their routines. When family time was over, my husband headed to work, my kids headed out, and the dog (Teddy) and I looked around.
Where to even start? The kitchen? The laundry? The email? The toys? What?
My smart dog stood by the front door, looking out. I’m still not sure if he was looking to see where his peeps went or telling me we should take a walk and regroup.
I went with the latter interpretation. Teddy is pretty smart.
On my walk, I realized I was both tired and refreshed (another popposite), which is the perfect way to end family fun time.
LOL. What a lovely time. It sounds great. My favorite saying for the ending of such things, in fact nearly any task is: Do my best and bless the rest. great share. I feel the love.