Do You Remember the First Time You Spotted a Hoax?

I do. I was watching Dr. X in World Wide Wrestling, and I wasn't yet driving age

Photo by Carlos E. Ramirez on Unsplash

I was 14, and my 10-year-old brother only wanted to go to a World Wide Wrestling Federation match. He was persistent and hooked on all the personalities that filled the WWWF roster.

I had no interest in going to a wrestling match, but my parents would not let him go alone, and they certainly weren’t going. So, they asked me to step up.

“Why me?” I asked.

“Because your older brothers are too busy, and we are working.”

I didn’t have much choice, and I loved my brother.

So, on a Sunday afternoon and slightly against my own wishes (I would never let my brother go by himself for fear that something horrible could happen — something worse than watching what we were about to see), we were dropped off at the WWWF arena.

My young brother was excited. He had been watching the “sport,” which is really theatre, for a few years. To prove this point about it being theatre, the wrestling league is now referred to as WWE or World Wrestling Entertainment.

After being dropped off, I was grumpy, but I switched my mood when I decided it would become my chance to exercise curiosity and the powers of observation.

Even though this was 53 years ago, I remember parts of the afternoon with clarity.

I remember Dr. X, a mask-wearing villain who crushes his opponents. At the mere sight of this red-masked monster, you felt obligated to boo, and we did. The more the crowd booed, the more animated Dr. X became, seeming meaner by the second.

Everyone wanted to know what Dr. X really looked like, but according to the event notes they passed out when you entered, his mask had never been taken off.

I remember his opponent. He was white, large but not fierce-looking, lacking any real stage presence. You just knew he wouldn’t last long in this “fight,” really orchestrated drama.

I did not do my part in either booing or cheering the wrestlers. Even at the tender age of 14, I knew it was so obviously a farce. The shock was that grown adults around me seemed not to understand this. I kept my eyes on my brother and less on the ring or the crazy people around us. Having never been to a match before, I didn’t know how it would unfold, and I wanted to be on my toes to protect us in case something erupted.

The main event

What did we see?

We saw Dr. X use his hands like a claw and pretend to claw the other wrestler’s (or actor’s) eyes.

This made the crowd scream obscenities, which had me wondering whether I should cover my brother’s ears.

I didn’t.

Next, came a series of moves that my brother educated me on.

Specifically:

The Pedigree: This is a full kick to the groin. Not being a man, I can only imagine how much that hurts, and in this one instant, I believed in the actor/wrestler’s pain.

The Chokeslam: Just like it sounds, the dirty wrestler chokes his opponent and then slams the guy to the ground. What followed for us to feast on was the slammed guy walking in circles, dizzy, coughing, and looking like he was near death. For a second, I felt scared. Everyone around us was screaming and cursing, and again, I wondered, Do I cover my brother’s ears?

The Frogslam: Here, Dr. X leaped from the top rope and landed on his opponent, who was on the mat. I couldn’t tell whether his feet hit the opponent's stomach or landed to the side of him, but either way, it wasn’t pretty.

The losing wrestler was lying on the ground, writhing in pain. My brother was wincing, and everyone around me seemed to believe severe damage had been done.

A referee supposedly was overseeing the battle in the ring, but he was the biggest actor of all. He pretended to scold Dr. X, but all that happened was Dr. X doubled down on his evil acts while the ref watched. Then, the ref threw up his hands in exasperation. Then the fans started yelling, “Throw him out! Throw him out!” My brother joined the chorus, as well.

Even though I knew the whole thing was a farce, I still wondered, What if Dr. X doesn’t execute these dirty moves safely? Can someone get hurt?

The answer is that people have gotten hurt. It is not a rare occurrence, but fortunately, on that day, nothing untoward happened.

Finally, it was over.

When the ref called off the match, Dr. X walked around in victory. His opponent looked dazed. The crowd was furious.

We were about ready to head out when the weakened opponent ran back into the ring to try and remove Dr. X’s mask, to no avail, of course. This had to end this way — making Dr. X even angrier, the ref looking more feeble, and the crowd just hoping that next time, the mask would get whisked away.

My takeaways

I could understand my brother being taken by the drama. These were good actors who played their parts well. But the adults around me?

How could they possibly believe this?

I came home and told my parents that I would never go to another WWWF performance again and that, as responsible parents, they should curb my brother’s enthusiasm.

They heard me.

I got to be the 14-year-old adult in the room. We were “one and done,” never to be repeated.

Reminiscing about this moment of “sports,” which was really theatre, I couldn’t help but wonder about the state of the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) business today.

Google told me that it is now a fully integrated media and entertainment company, and it has expanded its offering into action figures, video games, and other fun “sports entertainment,” which is their declared category.

It is a huge business that does not promote legitimate competition but instead promotes entertainment. For so many, entertainment is what matters. It’s fun to escape, scream at the top of your lungs, and, in my case, cover my brother’s ears.

My brother no longer watches World Wrestling, but for one moment in time, he gave me one of the oddest “sports” experiences of my life. I am glad he opted and switched, with me, to become knowledgeable about football and basketball.

We now root for bona fide sports teams genuinely competing, and there is no Dr. X for us to despise.

There is also no longer a need to cover my brother’s eyes.

He is 63 and can hear whatever he wants.