Float Like a Butterfly

How I convinced my mom to get a dog with help from Muhammad Ali

Allec Gomes for Unsplash +

Excerpted from my recently published book, Finding the Sunny Side: Musings for My Grandchildren.

From my favorite fictional teen character, Alfred, we can understand why, when we are trying to get our way (in Alfred’s case, become a dog owner), “floating like a butterfly” is usually our best approach. Alfred is fourteen in this piece and not a polished writer, but he is a sharp thinker. There is a lesson for all of us about the best way to convince people of something we want, and we have Muhammad Ali to thank. The story is told from Alfred’s voice.

---

Have you ever wondered how hard to push for something? You don’t want to irritate your friend, or in my case, it was my mom, by being too forceful. My mom will sometimes tell me in a rather stern voice,

“Alfred, don’t be too insistent. It won’t serve you well.”

Since I am fourteen, I only believe some of what she says. Her world isn’t really my world, and what she thinks is right might only be right for her.

But in this case, she was right. Here’s my small story where I learned that not being too insistent — or, as I say, “becoming the butterfly” made a huge difference.

I’ve wanted a dog ever since my good friend, Joey, introduced me to Calvin, his yellow lab, and I got to see and feel how much fun it is to have a dog. They lick your face. They can make a bad mood go away. They give us a chance to have a good walk and get a little exercise. That’s another thing my mom frequently tells me.

“Alfred, we need to make sure that we aren’t only exercising our brains.”

So, in the nicest of ways, I brought up to my mom that it would be good to get a dog. That was when she told me that we were fine. She was happy because I now had friends, life was trending up (the numbers person in me loves data and trends), and she didn’t want to add more “complexity” to our lives.

I nicely challenged “complexity.” I told my mom,

“I think a dog would bring more love into our home. We’d have chess, eat Soho Glob cookies, watch ‘Friends’ — but we’d have a dog cuddled up next to us.”

She laughed and called me a great salesman. Then she changed the conversation and said, “Let’s play some chess.” I said that would be fine, but please think about my request for a dog.

Float like a butterfly

So, I was watching a YouTube video of Muhammad Ali, who almost everyone knows was a world-class boxer. He won 56 of his 61 fights, and 37 were knockouts. That’s the kind of information I love to collect, and I’ve watched him enough to observe his speed and power.

But this is the part that gets me: Ali was once asked how he would beat Sonny Liston, another great boxer. His response?

“Float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee.”

I asked my mom if she knew that line. I was pretty sure she did, and I was right. She knows a lot about a lot.

I told her,

“I love this famous line, which I’ve seen on YouTube, and I love that I finally got to use it. In our case, I have opted to float and not push you too hard. If we get a dog, I want you to be as excited as me.”

And guess what?

It took some time. And it took her worrying about my friends being away for the summer, and she didn’t want me to feel “friendless” (her word). I agreed to her request that we name our Golden Retriever “Nellie.” I am going to find out why, but I got the sense it was an emotional reason, and I didn’t want to push her to share that yet.

But I learned something.

It is true that sometimes we need to sting like a bee, but if you have the chance, try floating like a butterfly first. It can work, and everyone can be happy. My mom calls it a “win-win situation.”

My mom has a lot of expressions, and I am finding that some of them creep into my language too. I am going to see if I can get her to use “Float like a butterfly” because I think it’s at least as good as all the things she tells me.

I’ve learned that when you have the chance to try and persuade people, do that first. If it doesn’t work, you can always practice pushiness as an option. But there is a reason that butterflies are beautiful. It’s a better way to go.

---

I hope you will check out my book, Finding the Sunny Side: Musings for My Grandchildren, here.