Unsplash+ in collaboration with Rodion Kutsaiev
Time for my favorite fictional autodidact (that means someone who asks and answers his own questions), Joey, to weigh in on the topic of New Year’s resolutions.
On New Year’s Eve, my family and I were having dinner. It seemed nice enough until my mom said in what I call her “authoritative voice,”
“OK, guys. I want to hear what your New Year’s resolution is going to be.”
My sister immediately jumped in and said that she was going to do her homework sooner when she got home and not wait until the last possible minute.
“By doing that, I think I will do better in school, and my grades will show it.”
That, of course, made my parents very happy. There is way too much conflict between my parents and sister about school.
Then, they turned their attention to me, and when I didn’t say much, my parents added their resolutions.
“I’m going to exercise more,” said my dad. “I’m tired of being a slug.”
Then there was my mom, who said,
“I’m going to pick up Spanish. I’ve always wanted to learn another language, and now is the time. I’ll check into Rosetta Stone.”
Now, all eyes were on me. I had a problem, though, because I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. I was going to have to explain this, but I decided to buy myself some time. So I said,
“Can I get back to you on this?”
My sister immediately protested that I was going to wiggle out of it, “like he always does by showing some research that proves his point. It’s not fair.”
I laughed and silently admitted, “Boy, does she know me.” My parents, though, agreed as we finished up dinner.
My Research into New Year’s Resolutions
I learned that I wasn’t unique in feeling pressured to make a New Year’s resolution because 62% reported the same feelings.
More interesting to me were the resolutions themselves. Here is what Forbes reports, and my dad always tells me that Forbes has (and I quote) “a good research engine,” meaning I can trust their data. The resolutions were:
Improvement in mental health (45%)
Improvement in fitness (39%)
Lose weight (37%)
Improve diet (33%)
But do resolutions work? This seemed a major point to answer, given how much time people spend talking about them. The data is mixed here. According to the Washington Post, nearly two out of three people achieve at least part of their resolution. This surprised me because it meant that it wasn’t just a worthless exercise, which I had assumed it to be.
Time for a New Year’s Resolution
I surprised myself by deciding to make a New Year’s Resolution. This fun conversation followed on New Year’s Day.
Me: Well, I’ve got one.
My sister: What? A disease? A pimple? What?
That’s my sister — incredibly annoying.
Me: No! A New Year’s Resolution.
My sister: No way.
Me: Yes way.
Finally, my parents joined the conversation.
I explained that I love feeding my curiosity, which is always at risk because of the busy world we live in. I have so much homework to do and then Calvin to walk, and by the end of the day, there’s no time left for me.
“So my New Year’s resolution is to protect my curiosity at all costs. I think it’s my superpower if I continue to feed it.”
My sister immediately got huffy, saying that this wasn’t a change in me and didn’t reflect a goal. Also, I had made it sound “fun.” My parents supported me and said that if the resolution meant something to me, that mattered most.
I finished up my resolution by asking Alfred what he thought. Alfred is my best and smartest friend. He says he’s on the spectrum. I say he feels no need to do what the rest of the world does. His response?
“Joey, ever since my mom told me that she sees her world in terms of color and that blue and green mean sky and grass — or possibility and growth — that’s become my forever resolution.”
I repeated, “Possibility and growth? That’s it.”
Alfred: Yep, nice and simple, but also hard to do. You can make yours more complicated.
Me: Alfred, I didn’t want one at all, but then I settled on my promise to feed my curiosity — forever.
Alfred: Silly Joey… curiosity is what leads to new possibilities, which leads to growth. I think that’s awesome, and we’re kinda the same.
The combination of a little research and a conversation with Alfred settled it. I’ve shortened it to “Curiosity maintained.”
Key Message: There is a place for New Year’s Resolutions, and they can be helpful if they are carefully considered. Be curious. Be thoughtful. Be real.