It’s a Dog…
Seeing a moment for what it is…no more…no less
The other day, I was on a dog walk when a fine-looking fellow and his dog walked our way. Teddy, my dog, is a 60-pound Golden Doodle full of fear. Any four-legged creature Teddy is unfamiliar with is an enemy waiting to attack.
The passer-by’s dog, Patty, is a lovely “Heinz-57” small mutt that has a good deal of Cavalier King Charles and Australian Shephard. She has a disposition that sees the sun as always shining and any stranger as a friend in the making, as I later learned.
So what happens?
Teddy barks loudly and lunges towards her as if to say, “I am fierce.” He might add, “Please don’t hurt me.”
Patty stares back at him, not sure what to do.
I make Teddy sit. I give Patty a treat (after asking the owner if I can) so that Patty knows I’m nice, and Teddy knows I’m not scared. That means he also doesn’t need to be scared.
Suddenly, the barking has stopped, and all is good.
I apologize for Teddy’s behavior and begin to explain that Teddy is a sweet dog who is scared of his shadow. Once he knows the stranger is no enemy, he is very gentle.
Before I continue: It’s a curious thing that I know all dogs’ names but hardly ever their owners. So, I’ll refer to Patty’s owner as “the man.”
So after my apology, this conversation ensues:
The Man: No worries. He’s a dog.
Me: Yes, a dog.
The Man: We don’t need to explain them. We need to accept them. And not apologize.
Me: That sounds right. Actually, I’m wondering how many places I can apply your principle — “No apologies necessary.”
The Man: I’m not sure. I’m just a guy who says simple things. If there’s more to it, you can let me know next time we pass.
Me: Sounds good. For now, I’m going with, “It’s a dog.” No more, no less…
Does “It’s a dog” mean more than it appears?
I tried it on for size using three examples, with the “no more, no less” refrain in my mind:
Disagreement within a family: “We see things differently.” (no more, no less.)
Readers not reading a writer’s piece: “You write for you.” (no more, no less.)
Consuming ice cream for dinner: “Milk has protein. Ice cream makes me happy.” (no more, no less.)
The man’s simple words seem to work.
Taking life down a notch seems to reduce my need to apologize or rationalize certain behaviors. It could be a mood changer.
This also means that when I get stuck in an uncomfortable situation, I might just announce,
“It’s a dog.”
I will likely get a very quizzical look from the one hearing me.
They won’t know what the heck I mean. It might make us laugh, or at least change the topic to dogs, and then I’ll show them a photo of Teddy on my phone.
And all will be good.
"We don’t need to explain them. We need to accept them. And not apologize."
Similarly, we need to stop physically and mentally mistreating them, as has often happened.
British Columbia has recently modified its legal code to recognize dogs and other pets as sentient family members rather than inanimate "property", particularly in fights over custody. I am hoping the other provinces and the American states will follow suit...
Dogs can teach us so much. Each morning is a new day. All is forgiven but I learned a lesson from you if you treat me badly. I will now approach with caution and an open heart. The moment is what counts. Lets be happy.