Should I Join My High School Marching Band?

Good thing I'm an autodidact, so I can challenge my mom's assumptions

Photo by Katrina Berban on Unsplash

The things a kid will do for his parents can sometimes feel huge. My mom has been bugging me to join our school’s marching band. I honestly don’t know why. We were exactly ten days into the new school year when I heard,

“Joey, I think you would love being in a marching band. Please go check it out before it’s too late.”

I am not sure why my mom thought I would love a marching band. I am not musical. In general, I don’t “march” in line with others. I go my own way. Alfred, my best friend, tells me that I’m unique and that it’s good. He should know “unique” because he is definitely so.

But, I reasoned, I wasn’t going to win this one by saying “no thanks” to my mom. Instead, I would do my research and see what we learned.

The skinny on marching bands

I say “the skinny” because I only did a bit of research. It wasn’t that interesting to me, and I had better places to apply my curiosity, but I still needed to give it a go. Here is what I learned:

• The best instrument to pick: By “best,” I meant easiest. The flute wins, hands down, and it is easy to carry. I think that’s important. The trumpet is way cooler, both in sound and general impression to those who would be watching us. But it’s much harder to learn. My sister and brother would hate to hear me practice.

• Music played: I wonder whether I would even like any of the songs we played (if I joined). Google says that the most popular songs are “Seven Nation Army,” “Eye of the Tiger,” and “Sweet Caroline.” Those seem good enough. I knew them all.

• When marching bands started: I always like learning a little history. The answer here shocked me. The first bands go back to the Ottoman Empire in the 13th century. Talk about “staying power.” In the 18th century, the Revolutionary War created a fife and drum corps to give new life to the marching band idea. In general, there is a big military angle to marching bands, and they’ve been around almost forever.

• What might I get out of joining? I knew that this was not how I wanted to spend my time, but I also knew that my mom often has good ideas, and this was important to her. “Why?” I wondered. A little research told me that some possible benefits include increased confidence, another way to build teamwork skills, and exercise.

• How much time do high school marching bands require? High school marching bands typically practice three times a week for two to three hours a time.

What I did next

Alfred told me that if my choice in getting my way is to “float like a butterfly” (i.e., argue softly and with patience) or “sting like a bee” (i.e., fight hard and direct), I would do better to start as a butterfly. I followed his advice. Here’s how it went:

Me: Mom, I did my research on marching bands because I know how important it is to you.

Mom: What did you learn? You always learn something.

Me: Well, it will be three times a week for two to three hours a time, after school.

Mom: Hmm… that’s a bit more than I thought.

Me: Exactly. I wouldn’t be able to walk Calvin. I would have a harder time making my way through my homework. But a marching band is supposed to give me more confidence and better teamwork skills.

Mom: Joey, I don’t think you lack confidence, and working as the stage manager in the school plays has already demonstrated your teamwork skills. I was hoping to help you build music skills and add a few friends.

Me: So what do you think, Mom? Should we park this idea for now and let me focus on my classes?

Mom: I think that’s wise. Doing your research proved helpful.

Whew! I was happy and texted Alfred right after. “I was a butterfly all right, and it worked.”

Alfred was proud that he gave me good advice. Tomorrow, I would share what I learned on our dog walk. Alfred is as curious as me.

Key Message: When you are trying to win your argument, try a soft approach that Alfred calls, “Float like a butterfly.” It’s a lot more effective but does require patience.