The Pre-Jitters of Launch

So many details, so much to get right…

Author’s copy of poster in front of Newtonville Books

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I’ve been down this path before — five times to be exact. Each time, I ask myself, “Why the launch?”

• It’s not about the crowds. I anticipate seeing maybe 30 faces (if I’m lucky). That’s what I saw last time, and I don’t think my local readership has grown.

• It’s not about the money. When you sell a book at a bookstore, after providing the book on a consignment basis, you receive 60% if sold, and the bookstore gets the remainder. My $16 book will net me $3 when it’s all said and done, and that’s not including the overhead costs of getting my book to market. Because writing has never been about the money for me, I don’t care.

• It’s not about adding a “fun factor” to my life. It is a lot of work and a fair bit of nerves.

So what is it?

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This is what I asked myself when I announced to my husband that this will be my last launch.

Him: Really? No more books in your future?

Me: I didn’t say that. Of course, I have another book — or two — in my future. I am already thinking about that.

Him: So, is it the nerves of the launch?

Me: Maybe.

Him: Okay. Well, let’s get through this one, and we’ll see what you feel after that.

Me: Okay

After our conversation, I had to ask myself why do I write. That’s when I heard in my head,

“Because you believe you have something to say, and it might help people. It will definitely help you.”

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My next step is to get myself into the right state of mind by focusing on what I can control. I can’t control who comes. I’ve already heard of so many conflicts in the last few days where people who were going to come won’t be there. Okay, I say to myself. Pressure is off. You’ll be speaking to your family.

Instead, I concentrate on two aspects of the launch:

What will I say? How will I make my message stick?

What will I say?

I am going to explain my motivation for writing this third book in the Alfred series. Ellie, Alfred’s mom, is going through a dark period. Alfred sees this and asks that she find a coach to help her.

Between a journal and a coach, Ellie eventually finds her way, but it takes a lot of pages (450) for her to discover how. The book offers coaching, romance, complicated family dynamics, and growth.

So why did I write this? I wanted to learn more about my character Ellie, who was more than a stick figure in previous novels, but not sufficiently defined. Mostly, though, at 67, I wanted to tell myself that coming-of-age stories are lifelong. Maybe I’d learn something about the “how factor.”

How will my message stick?

I will be giving everyone apples. Why apples?

The book's cover features apples. The apples refer to a play that Alfred and his friend Hannah are writing, The Apples and Everything That Came After. Alfred and Hannah are juniors in high school, looking ahead and excited about the prospects of college. They want to do some soul searching, though, and learn more about themselves and their history so they can prepare for their future.

Alfred and Hannah decide to have six friends tell their origin stories — from where they started to where they are. Hannah asks, “What can we learn? What can they learn?”

And why an apple and its not-so-subtle reference to the Garden of Eden? As Hannah explains to Alfred,

“A lot of things come after the apple. I think the point is that creation continues. How we grow, how we change, what we become is always in motion.”

I hope that when people at the launch take home their apple, they will think about my book (of course) but, more importantly, what the apple can mean.

How we change and what we become is always in motion.

“Coming-of-age” is that exact category of story that profiles how we change. We might mistakenly think of the story as a young adult experience, but the experience is lifelong if we choose it.

Ellie chooses it. Her mother chooses it. Ellie’s best friend, Penny, is embarking on a journey to finally see herself, as Ellie describes it, “as a silver dollar.” Penny will choose it.

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As a writer, I chose to write my first romance, even if it is a complicated one. First, I had to learn about writing romance, and given who I am, it would need to be on the clean side. Then, I needed to understand how Ellie and “Tom” (Alfred’s coach) could begin a relationship that had been simmering underneath and in denial for two years. It would be a relationship that could draw criticism for some obvious reasons.

There were so many firsts. Even if this is my sixth book launch, it feels like my first. It might also be my last, or maybe not. Why?

Because I am coming of age, too. We will see where that leads me.