Remembering My Bubbie on This Upcoming Mother's Day

She led an active life until her nineties, before health gurus and influencers told us how

author’s photo of “Bubbie”

As we approach Mother’s Day, I count my blessings that I have had more strong, intelligent, and devoted women in my life than anyone should be entitled to. I am marking this year’s Mother’s Day by celebrating my Bubbie (Yiddish for Grandmother). The word “forceful” does not do her justice, nor does “committed to her family,” or that she was a “keeper of unwavering faith.” She saw to it that we all landed on our feet.

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Meet my Bubbie, Sarah Lebah Gardenswartz. My bubbie immigrated from a border town, which was one day Poland, and another day Russia. She was 16 years old and didn’t speak a word of English when she landed at Ellis Island and was placed on a train to Denver, Colorado.

When she arrived in Denver, she faced an arranged marriage with her third cousin, who dealt in livestock. My “zayda” was like Biblical Joseph — good years followed by lean years. My bubbie and zayda had five kids and very little money.

The shortage of food was probably what led my bubbie to become a vegetarian. She saved their meager amount of meat for the family. Years later, when resources were ample, she still wouldn’t eat meat, though she prepared it for others.

My Bubbie died in 1984. She was 94 and had led a very active life until she was 90. I believe four factors led to her long and engaged life, described below.

Factor One: Diet

Because my bubbie could barely feed their family, she would eat only affordable foods herself. This turned out to be fish (mostly fish heads), cottage cheese, and baked potatoes.

In her later years, when money was no issue, she still ate fish heads, cottage cheese, and baked potatoes. You can imagine what her grandchildren thought of her diet.

Factor Two: She was a walker

She didn’t know how to drive, but fortunately, all of her world happened within blocks of her. She dedicated herself to collecting charity for Jewish schools because she was a woman of deep faith and believed we needed to do our best to educate the next generation.

When my bubbie was in her eighties and arthritic, she was still walking the blocks in Denver for hours at a time and knocking on doors to collect donations for men studying in a yeshiva, an Orthodox college for men. Even when her knees shouted “stop!” she persisted.

Imagine getting your 10,000 steps daily in your 80s! My bubbie collected charity on foot, five days a week, even in cold weather. She was hearty and lived with purpose.

Factor Three: She gave deeply to her family, and we returned the love

My bubbie lived on the same block as my parents’ grocery store, which was two blocks from our home. When we were young, she would babysit. When we were older, she helped my mom by making dinner. My mom needed all the capable hands she could gather to help their six children while she worked in the grocery store.

Growing up in a small town in Eastern Europe, my bubbie never had a formal education. Still, she possessed a kind of unnourished intelligence. She was naturally smart. She also knew where all her dollars and cents went.

While her English was laced with a thick European accent, she was fluent and a clear thinker. Most importantly, she always had her eyes on her family and their future. She made my dad go into business for himself and open a grocery store. She instructed me that “In this country, girls can become teachers,” so I should opt for that professional path. My sisters both listened, and I chose a different path, though still “professional.”

Because her voice was so important to my family, there is a large photo of her on my dresser. Her strength reminded us of what we could be if we followed her lead.

Factor Four: Her faith gave her comfort

My bubbie was a religious soul. She went to services every Sabbath. She led an observant life by keeping kosher and observing all holidays. It was a salve for her many woes.

Her life was filled with loss. She lost her mother when she was young and was later faced with an unkind stepmother. She lost her two brothers in the Russian pogroms. She left for the U.S. to meet her arranged husband, which worked well, but alas, she was widowed at 70. She went on to live another 24 years without her spouse.

Through it all, my bubbie remained strong, determined, and a force of nature to anyone who stood in her path. She was built like the stereotypical stocky Russian peasant, and with that build came immense strength and determination.

Except for those moments when she would plant a kiss on our cheeks and almost knock us over, we appreciated her strength.

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In 2025, what I find most remarkable about my Bubbie is that she created a life for herself based on instincts and values. She had no data and obviously no influencers to help steer her course.

Nope. She continued to eat the affordable foods that she liked. She walked huge distances on a personal mission, no matter her barking knees. She nourished her soul with the love of her family and her prayer community.

She built a simple life that sustained her and helped her pass along wisdom to the next generation. We were listening.

When my bubbie died in June of 1984, I was traveling on a business trip. I woke up that morning and called my mom because, for some reason, I couldn’t shake the thought of her.

That’s when I heard, “Honey, I was just getting ready to call you. Bubbie passed away in her sleep last night.”

What happened at some subliminal level that made me think of her that morning? I not only felt loss, but also wonder.

I took this as a sign from the universe to follow my bubbie in whatever ways I could. It’s as if she were saying, “Don’t forget me and all that I taught you.”

I won’t.

Family and faith were the cornerstones of her life, and they would become the same in ours. She is a tough act to follow, but except for the fish heads, I think we’ve got it.